Parenting is hard is a fact, but not an excuse

Tips for parenting -- remember no parent is perfect. I don't have problems with parents who occasionally do not act as good parents. We all make mistakes. We all have our moments/days. But I do have problems with parents who don't even try to be good parents.

Parenting: Moms do everything

Moms are everything: housekeeper, chef, teacher, nurse, coach, chauffeur, story teller, monster killer, ... wonder woman. :)

Cheers to moms!

Every child is gifted. Find out what your child's special gift is. It may take time, but they are all truly gifted.

New trick to replace time-out

We practice positive discipline in our household. It works great most of the time, but there are times when I just can't find anyway to get through to Little Pea. There are only so many natural consequences I could think of. Then I read a research on how some kids did better in school. One of the characteristics was being explained the reason instead of just being told.

I'm usually pretty good at telling Little Pea why I do or don't do certain things, but there are things I didn't say because I thought she was too young to understand. Now that she's older, I tried to tell her the real reason. Last night, I introduced a difficult concept -- energy -- as in mommy only has a finite amount of energy. If she kept throwing food onto the ground, then after cleaning up, mommy wouldn't have energy to read her a story at bedtime. That was absolutely the true reason, a consequence, not a punishment (although she might not feel that way). So there was no story reading last night. She was very upset, but I hope she got it.

Responsible Parenting Advice

There are so many websites and blogs out there offering advice on everything, most based on opinions or experiences. You'd think that it'd be safe to take advice based on scientific research. How wrong I was. This morning, I read that "Breakfast is not the most important meal of the day" on a site reporting scientific findings (I won't even mention their name to promote them). It was a bait-and-switch title the best, irresponsible reporting the worst. How can a research showing no weight or resting metabolic change on 38 fasting individuals lead to that conclusion??? No scientific explanation was offered. I know it's hard to get attention when there are so many competing websites out there, but you're a reporter. What happened to responsible and ethical reporting? Don't you dare tell my kid that she doesn't need to eat breakfast because it's not the most important meal of the day. It still is as long as no credible research to contradict it.

How to spot good parenting?

A kid behaving well or badly can be due to a lot of reasons. A seemingly well-behaved kid is obedient because his parents use harsh, punitive punishment when he misbehaves. He can also behave well because he sees his bad parents as the don't-do "role model". So I don't believe in judging good parenting by the child's behavior.
But you can judge by the parents' behavior -- are they doing the right thing? How much effort have they put into it. Of course, there can still be time when parents do all the "right things" but the child still doesn't turn out well. Good parenting cannot guarantee outcome. Good parenting is about doing the absolutely best the parent can and make no excuses.

Attachment Theory Does Not Prescribe Attachment Parenting

Attachment theory is wonderful. It helps us understand child development and psychology tremendously. Unfortunately, exactly because of this, people start prescribing specific type of practices in the name of attachment theory. Case in point, attachment therapy. Attachment therapy is not only a misuse but also an abuse of attachment theory. It's a shame.

Attachment parenting has gained some traction in recent years. Unlike attachment therapy, its principles and intentions are mostly good. But its extreme prescribed practices and stretching the truth of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) to scare parents into believing this leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

Parenting Tip #4: Safe Haven

Being a safe haven means you should be responsive to your child's needs and sensitive to their emotions. Children raised with highly responsive parents are more apt in emotion regulation, social competence and emotional stability. Sensitive parents need to pay close attention to their children and that's hard work. But in the end, you will be rewarded with sweet results.

10 Tips On Good Parenting

Here's a shorter version of the top 10 tips (pdf) on how to be a good parent for the busy parents. :) These are not fast and easy tips at all. Good parents know that parenting is never easy. There are no shortcuts... except the the scientific shortcuts scientists and psychologists have already found out for you!

Tip #7: Take Good Care Of Yourself

You cannot take good care of your child if you're not well yourself. Taking caring of yourself means paying attention and working on maintaining good physical health and mental health. On mental health, you should seek counseling if you have any mood disorder or other mental health problems. You also need to make sure your marital relationship is healthy. Another thing to look out for is toxic relationships -- relationships that drag you down instead of helping you thrive. It can be friendship, family members, coworkers, etc. They are sometimes hard to get rid of. Find ways to avoid being affected by them. That would help your mental health tremendously.

Parenting Tip #2 You cannot be too loving

You can never love your child too much. Showing affection can trigger all kinds of good chemical reactions inside your child's body and brain. So go head. Give her a hug. Tell her you love her.

Top 10 Parenting Tips

Want to be a good parent? Here are some tips for you, things you can do for your kids. Be mindful of parents' power over children. Use it wisely to raise a child who can thrive.

Parenting Tips #1 Walk the walk

Are you a "Do as I say not as I do" parent? Children are watching everything their parents do. Respect your child and your child will learn how to respect others. Start acting the person you want your child to become and he/she will follow your lead.

Parenting Tip #4: Practice Positive Discipline

Positive Discipline - Focus on guiding future behavior instead of punishing the past. Respect your child and he/she will respect you. Punitive punishment on the other hand will only generate Resentment, Rebellion, Revenge and Retreat. See 8 Parenting Tips on Positive Discipline for more parenting advice.

Parenting Tips On Being A Good Enough Parent

How to be a good parent? Well, we know that there are no perfect parents. Even though researches have identified many aspects that can affect a child's future and these elements are within parents' control, no one can follow all the advice all of the time. So

Parenting Tip #1: Walk The Walk - Be the person you want your child to be.

Parenting Tips and Advice

Tips and advice for parents - Parenting, the easiest thing to have an opinion on, but it's the hardest job to do. Rookie Parenting will present research findings, scientific data and proven theories that can help parents make the right decision on parenting. Topics including parenting styles, attachment, temperament, discipline, baby psychology and child brain development.

Parenting Tips For Rookie Parents

This week on Rookie Parenting, I wrote about parenting tips on parenting styles and attachment theory. They can help us understand how environment, especially the way we parent, can shape our children's social development, emotion regulation and personality.

It is interesting to note that there is no one "right" way to parent. However, there are many wrong ways to do so. A blog Professor Poppins talks about how the two dimensions used to determine different parenting styles are actually two spectrums. Inside each style, parents adjust their degrees of demandingness and responsiveness to suit each child. However, as researches have shown, there is definitely an ideal parenting style better than the others and those other styles are associated with more academic, social and mental issues.

If a parent is currently practicing a less than ideal style, it will take a lot of hard work to change. But most important, the parent needs to have the courage to admit that they need to change, which is actually much harder to do.

What is your parenting style? Do you agree with the most used classification - authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful?